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Monologue (last chapter)
Pairing: RyoJin
Rating: PG-13
Genre: romance, friendship, bit angst
Multi-chapter
Disclaimer: I don't own them or anything else JE-related. But the story is mine of course^^
Summary: It happens almost out of a sudden. 'Almost', because Jin should have seen the signs. But too pre-occupied with the problems in their relationship, it slipped his attention. And then Ryo is gone... leaving just a single note. Where he is, is a mystery, as is what drove him to leave. Desperate to save their relationship Jin decides to fight against unknown demons of their hearts. He is searching for the key to understanding Ryo's past... so that he might be able to open the locked door again.
Note: Flashbacks and letters Jin has written are in [italic]
A/N: This is dedicated to everyone who wished for an epilogue! <3
I want to remember it all, the good moments and the bad ones. I want to become someone who is strong enough to walk next to you.
The past, I want to get rid of it, though I know that I can’t. I need to accept it so that I will be able to move forward.
But I want you to know, that even if I’m gloomy sometimes and silent, my heart will always be beating when you are around me.
Please, never give up on me.
Never loose hope.
Then I can promise you that also I will never loose hope.
And I will never give up on me.
On you.
And on us.
You are my precious.
Ryo yawned a bit, looking at the boxes on the floor grumpily. “Jin! You could really move your fat ass into the living room and help me a bit more!!” he complained.
“I’ll be there in a minute, annoying shrimp!” Jin called back from the kitchen… where he was having his third coffee today and his fourth breakfast. Not to mention that on the contrary Ryo hadn’t taken a break at all till now.
They were moving. Into another apartment. Well, they would still keep their own apartments of course, simply because it was easier like that. When one of them celebrated a party and one needed to get up early, they could actually go to their old apartments. Also for the media it was important to keep up the farce. But though they would still have their own apartments, they had promised each other one important thing: to never leave and hide there after a fight.
From now on they would live together for real.
Ryo looked around a bit. He would miss this place here, because it was the place where everything had begun… and almost ended… just to begin again. They had talked a lot during the last weeks to learn to communicate better. Ryo had feared to actually tell Jin about his first love… the guy who had beaten him up and did even worse things to him. But he wanted to move on, hence he had decided to open up a bit and involve Jin. He had been able to move away from this guy with Takki’s help back then… and finally with Jin’s help he was learning to get over this frightening and painful past.
He had been a mess when he was with Kame. And now he finally found the courage to talk to him… Though Jin was jealous like crazy at Kame, Ryo had decided that he and Kame would need to become friends... or something like that. It was important for them so that they would both be able to pull a line and move away from the things that had happened between them.
Besides that Jin being jealous was cute…
Ryo had never felt that good before. Things were far from being perfect, but it was the best ‘perfect’ Ryo had ever encountered, so he looking forward to this path in front of him again.
He smiled slightly, sitting down on the floor, looking around a bit. He blinked when he saw a little notebook on the window sill. Did they forget to pack it into one of the boxes? It was definitely part of Jin’s stuff, maybe he had put it there so that he wouldn’t forget it.
Ryo angled for it, going through its content. His eyes widened in surprise. He was going through all the pages, sometimes he smiled, sometimes he giggled, sometimes his heart ached, sometimes there were tears in his eyes… while most of the time he sobbed hopelessly.
For a moment Ryo leaned his head against the wall, trying to control his breathe, while he was shaking like crazy. Jin had never complained during the last months and he had never blamed him for leaving and disappearing without telling anyone. Actually Ryo hadn’t realized how much it had hurt Jin and how he had suffered. How he had been scared to loose Ryo and how, at the same time, he tried not to loose hope.
Besides that Ryo had never believed that Jin would remember all that stuff – all these little things that happened throughout their relationship and were so important to him. But apparently Jin hadn’t forgotten anything.
Ryo wasn’t sure if he had ever felt that loved before. And at the same time he knew that he had never loved someone like he loved Jin.
Dear Ryo-chan,
this is a love-letter…
******
“Hey Ryo!” Jin grumbled, pretending to be annoyed. “You little pain in the butt… you made so much stress and see? We finished packing way too early!” He blinked in surprise when Ryo hugged him out of the blue, kissing him heatedly.
Jin smiled brightly. “What was that for?”
Ryo grinned, eyes gleaming. “I thought about us and this apartment… and I think it would be nice to share one more memory here…”
Jin blinked for a moment before he grasped everything Ryo said. “Ah.” He grinned. “Some good-bye-old-apartment sex?” He grabbed Ryo’s hips, pushing him against the wall. “I love your ideas…”
Jin was putting some personal things into the shelf right next to his bed. Photos, little presents, all the things that meant something to him. He smiled a bit when he looked through their new apartment. He grinned, it was about time to move on… which meant… moving in together with Ryo. This would be gorgeous. They had moved in here two weeks ago and finally they were done with cleaning everything up and unpacking.
Jin grabbed his very last bag to unpack it, blinking a bit when he found a well-known notebook on top of it. Right, this one was his precious. His very own, embarrassing little secret. That’s why it needed to have a special place in the new apartment.
Reminded of the past, he angled for the little book, going through the pages. He was about to close it again when his eyes caught something strange. He blinked, turning over one more page.
There were pages in front of him now… with another hand-writing on them. Ryo’s. There was no doubt about that.
Jin blinked in surprise, leaning against the wall to read through what Ryo had written for him here. He had to smile brightly, his heart hammering against his chest in joy, while he read through sad and touching and cute statements.
Dear Jin,
this is a love-letter…
******
Note: Hey dear friends and readers! Thanks so much for all your support!! So, I wanted to tell you that my Request Post is open. If you feel like requesting a specific pairing or situation you can do so HERE
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i have two theories with the ending of this story, you know.
1. it's ryo's thoughts in the beginning and ryo's letter at the end.
2. the beginning is ryo's letter in the ends, and the end is of course the beginning of ryo's letter in the beginning.
oh how i hope you got it. but it bsically means on thing. instead of jin, it was ryo who started and ended this chapter, the final chapter. I THINK that despite the lack of physical presence of ryo in this story was an unimagineable way of feeling his character and the things that he has been through. you really were effective in writing the emotions not just of jin but also ryo's! it's perfect.
this chapter is the epilogue, right? basically the summary of the things that has happened after jin finally found ryo. it didn't get into so much detail but the ideas of how things went through were enough. their set up is normal. i'm glaad about that because their relationship isn't ordinary after all. i'm just pretty sure that apart from the bickering they do are late night talks and words of assurance for ryo's healing. and with ryo's healing is jin's relief. that would make their relationship more than perect. who wants a perfect relationship, anyway? that would be boring!
haha! i don't know what to say anymore. i just would like to say that what you did with the altering of the conventional presentation of each chapter was cute! although i predicted that ryo would nswer jin's lettter, it still had an impact to me. it was cute and really sweet. i just couldn't see their relationship going to a lost battle anymore.
apparently, they've grown in those days/weeks of being apart. They'd be better together.
Thanks so much, dear for wiriting this! i really loved this story! i'm so sad that it ended but I still ahve Jade which I adore so much, too! I hope you can write more! Thank you soooooooooooooo much!
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Thanks so much for your lovely comment!! *HUGGLES*
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.... I love your thoughts about the letter. Ryo starting this chapter with the end of the letter.
And you are right, that's actually what I had intended to write. I'm so happy that you read it that way <3
Ryo is definitely healing at the moment and that's the most important to Jin.
You are right: Who wants a perfect relationship? Besides... a perfect relationship might never happen, right? But these two try to make it as good as possible <3
Thanks so much for reading, dear!! *HUGGLES*
I'm so glad you liked it!!!!! <3
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good-bye-old-apartment sex??? *loooooool* great idea. ^^
Now they can move forward, and even though it will need a lot of time till everything will be totally alright again, but they'll manage it. It's like Takki said: they don't have a normal relationship, it's something deeper, something more complicated, but honest. :D
Thanks soooo much for that story, I totally loved reading it, it's one of my favorites. :D <3
*hugs* *hearts*
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The letter were important, right? Jin might have never told Ryo about them, but Ryo found them anyway. And hence he was able to answer to them ^^
Now they can really move forward and away from the troubles they had once.
Thanks so much for your great comment!! *huggles*
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I love the epilogue. I love the way it shifts from the letter in the beginning to the two of them packing, to Ryo and to Jin again.
Why am I not surprised that Ryo is doing most of the packing. There is always one doing more than the other at such times. Guess *coughs* which one I was. ha ha.
I think that secretly Jin wanted Ryo to find the notebook. He left in it plain sight. i think he was ready for Ryo to see it.
Thank you for having Ryo read the letters. Really it was all that I wanted. I think also it was nice because he found out that way, and there was no expectations for his reactions, everything was very natural and beautiful. Of course I expected no less from you, my friend.
I like that they are moving to a new place. You know how i love fresh starts, and what better way to start over.
And now Ryo has found a new way to communicate with Jin, and he knows what Jin went through, and he knows how deeply Jin loves him.
And he will carry all this knowledge in his heart as they build a new life together--cheesy--maybe but right now I so don't care. I am a fool for this kind of love.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Hugs, hearts, and stardust. :D:D:D<3<3<3
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I know that you were expecting a lot from the epilogue, that's why I'm really happy that you liked it!!!!!!! *huuuuuugs*
I guess you are right. Maybe Jin unconsciously wanted Ryo to find this book so that he would know how he felt. These are all things Jin can't say out loud after all and on the other hand it shows how much he actually feels for him.
Yes, this is a new start for these two - now they can finally move away from everything that had happened <3
Thanks so much for reading, dear!! *huggles*
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This totally concludes the series!!! Awesome choice in doing the epilogue!!! Ryo is definitely making a conscious effort in opening up, surprising Jin when he wrote into Jin's "secret" notebook.
p.s. yup it's like a week away before I fly off. Now I have problems looking for suits. Suits in Japan are expensive. The cheapest costs abt ¥29,000 (~SGD400). I have a strict dress code of only dark suits and collared shirts / blouses. Nothing clingy etc.. Gonna take a rest now before I head to Orchard Road to check out some suits
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I'm sooooooooooo happy that you liked this story!! *HUGGLES*
And I'm really glad that you liked the epilogue. I was so nervous about it...
Thanks so much for your lovely comment!! *HUGGLES*
PS: O_O WOW! So much money? I hope you will find a suit before you go to Japan...
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Not nice epilogue but great story line XD How is that? *smirk* Hahaha *evillaugh*
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I'm really glad you liked this story!
:DDDDDD
Ryo's letter is a secret ^_______^
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God, it´s such a beautiful fic I´m litterallyc rying here!
Love how realistic it was, how they expressed their feelings in their own way and how much they loved each other,
Thank you so much Lilly for writing this, it was a real piece of art^_^
Thank you!!
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And thanks for your lovely words <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
*bluuuuuuuuuuuuuush*
*HUGGLES*
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what a nice way to end it
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I'm glad you liked it!! <3