Uchi is so sweet and innocent. He doesn't think that something is wrong with Ryo, because in the end it was always Ryo caring about Uchi and not Uchi caring about Ryo. Ryo gives everything for others, but his own problems are buried deep inside him, and he doesn't think of talking about them to anyone.
“It’s just a feeling… But as if he was afraid I would do something to me.”
Oh god, Ryo....what happened to you that you feel in that way? I think that Ryo had this special feeling of doing something to him, so he was afraid that Uchi could try it too. Maybe Ryo never tried to commit suicide, but it's enough to have the thought about it. Something terrible must have happened to him, otherwise he wouldn't act like this. I think his shyness and all the hide and seek with his real emotions and problems are connected with something terrible.
It's so sad a the beginning, where Ryo is smiling, but he doesn't feel comforted here. Even though Jin only wants the best for him. But for me it felt like...let me think about an explanation...like you lose the chance to breath like you want to show someone who and what you are, but in the moment you want, you can't breath and you aren't able to tell him about it. Ryo loves Jin, but even though he trusts him, he can't be himself here. He is always hiding behind a mask - behind a smile, which wasn't a smile at all. I am asking myself if Ryo wanted to tell Jin about his past, or if he wanted to hide it deep inside him, and never let it out again?
Maybe he didn't want to be rememebered about it, but it's like a nightmare behind him. He will never get rid of it, when he is burying it inside. And on the other side I think he is maybe afraid of losing Jin when he tells him what happened to him. I don't think he wants to hurt Jin with running away, I think he is hiding, because he flees from his problems and from facing Jin, because the moment where he has to tell hiim about everything comes sooner or later. He can't keep a big problem for himself for such a long time. Not when he wants to have a working relationship. Even though Jin doesn't recognize it by now, but with time he'd check that something bigger is off. Maybe Ryo panicked becuase he recognized that Jin realized something step by step and just ran away tp avoid a discussion.
It's easy to smack Jin's head for not realizing it, but I think Ryo acted perefectly in his role, and Jin just didn't see it. Ryo always said that everything is fine, even though it wasn't. And you don't want to go on the other one's nerves, so you won't ask hundreds of times if everything is fine. But as I said a few lines before, Ryo's facade wasn't made to work out forever. Jin knows him better and better - even though he didn't check immediately what's going on....
And Ryo isn't able to open up at least a bit. He is totally closed and it seems there is no one who is able to open him up. Only a few persons had the chance to get to know the real Ryo - but only partly. Like Koichi or Subaru. And others just remember about things Ryo said once. But everything is just a small piece in a big puzzle. No one knows the real Ryo, because I think he didn't tell anyone about his real face. But everyone's story maybe leads to a whole picture - hopefully a picture of a honest smiling Ryo.
Jun is able to help Jin here, I think it's a big point that Ryo is too shy. He wasn't able to make a step alone back then. And also Jin and Pi had problems to get close to him at the beginning. There must be something deeper going on in Ryo. I feel so sad for him. And also for Jin.
Sorry - Comment Part 1
Uchi is so sweet and innocent. He doesn't think that something is wrong with Ryo, because in the end it was always Ryo caring about Uchi and not Uchi caring about Ryo. Ryo gives everything for others, but his own problems are buried deep inside him, and he doesn't think of talking about them to anyone.
“It’s just a feeling… But as if he was afraid I would do something to me.”
Oh god, Ryo....what happened to you that you feel in that way? I think that Ryo had this special feeling of doing something to him, so he was afraid that Uchi could try it too. Maybe Ryo never tried to commit suicide, but it's enough to have the thought about it. Something terrible must have happened to him, otherwise he wouldn't act like this. I think his shyness and all the hide and seek with his real emotions and problems are connected with something terrible.
It's so sad a the beginning, where Ryo is smiling, but he doesn't feel comforted here. Even though Jin only wants the best for him. But for me it felt like...let me think about an explanation...like you lose the chance to breath like you want to show someone who and what you are, but in the moment you want, you can't breath and you aren't able to tell him about it. Ryo loves Jin, but even though he trusts him, he can't be himself here. He is always hiding behind a mask - behind a smile, which wasn't a smile at all. I am asking myself if Ryo wanted to tell Jin about his past, or if he wanted to hide it deep inside him, and never let it out again?
Maybe he didn't want to be rememebered about it, but it's like a nightmare behind him. He will never get rid of it, when he is burying it inside. And on the other side I think he is maybe afraid of losing Jin when he tells him what happened to him. I don't think he wants to hurt Jin with running away, I think he is hiding, because he flees from his problems and from facing Jin, because the moment where he has to tell hiim about everything comes sooner or later. He can't keep a big problem for himself for such a long time. Not when he wants to have a working relationship. Even though Jin doesn't recognize it by now, but with time he'd check that something bigger is off. Maybe Ryo panicked becuase he recognized that Jin realized something step by step and just ran away tp avoid a discussion.
It's easy to smack Jin's head for not realizing it, but I think Ryo acted perefectly in his role, and Jin just didn't see it. Ryo always said that everything is fine, even though it wasn't. And you don't want to go on the other one's nerves, so you won't ask hundreds of times if everything is fine. But as I said a few lines before, Ryo's facade wasn't made to work out forever. Jin knows him better and better - even though he didn't check immediately what's going on....
And Ryo isn't able to open up at least a bit. He is totally closed and it seems there is no one who is able to open him up. Only a few persons had the chance to get to know the real Ryo - but only partly. Like Koichi or Subaru. And others just remember about things Ryo said once. But everything is just a small piece in a big puzzle. No one knows the real Ryo, because I think he didn't tell anyone about his real face. But everyone's story maybe leads to a whole picture - hopefully a picture of a honest smiling Ryo.
Jun is able to help Jin here, I think it's a big point that Ryo is too shy. He wasn't able to make a step alone back then. And also Jin and Pi had problems to get close to him at the beginning. There must be something deeper going on in Ryo. I feel so sad for him. And also for Jin.