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Monologue Chapter
Title: Monologue: Chapter 7 (of 14): Seasons
Pairing: RyoJin
Rating: PG-13
Genre: romance, friendship, bit angst
Multi-chapter
Disclaimer: I don't own them or anything else JE-related. But the story is mine of course^^
Summary: It happens almost out of a sudden. 'Almost', because Jin should have seen the signs. But too pre-occupied with the problems in their relationship, it slipped his attention. And then Ryo is gone... leaving just a single note. Where he is, is a mystery, as is what drove him to leave. Desperate to save their relationship Jin decides to fight against unknown demons of their hearts. He is searching for the key to understanding Ryo's past... so that he might be able to open the locked door again.
Note: Flashbacks and letters Jin has written are in [italic]
“You know, I have nothing against crowded places.” Jin complained. “But this here makes even me feel claustrophobic.” He rolled his eyes when he saw Yuu curling his lips up into a teasing smirk. “Stop that attitude, idiot.” Jin grumbled. “You are way too drunk to be taken for serious anyway… I’ll go outside for some fresh air.” He shoved his body through the masses of people, glad when he reached the door, leading outside.
He sighed deeply, leaning against the wall. Fresh air! Finally! He liked clubbing and crowded places, but honestly…this here was too much for him. Thoughts like: “What would I do if there was a fire?” normally didn’t cross his mind, but this place made him feel uncomfortable. It was a special party, only VIPs invited and it was actually something that could be cool. Just that the place was way too small.
Though he could have had fun if Ryo had been here too, of course. Together with Ryo even the ugliest place turned into their own comfortable little palace. But Ryo went to Maruyama’s birthday party and couldn’t come along. Jin rolled his eyes at that thought. Man, how pathetic, here he was, going out without his boyfriend for once and already missing him. He, cool and independent Jin. Who would have believed that he was so much into romance? That he actually liked the thought of not being free and independent? He loved it to take Ryo’s hand and claim him as his. He didn’t need the feeling of being free and allowed to have sex with whoever he wanted to, he rather preferred it to have sex with the one person he really wanted. He hadn’t believed that himself at the beginning, that he could become such a type of guy, but with Ryo everything changed.
“You were right.” Yuu coughed when he also trembled outside after while. “This place is scary…” He took a sip from his beer that he had brought outside. “Want some…?” he offered.
“No thanks.” Jin grinned, pulling at his cigarette. He watched the smoke diffusing in the night sky. It was a calm area here… no people outside at all. He enjoyed it to be at such a place, just looking at the night sky and enjoying the fresh breeze, without the noise of cars around him.
“Eh?” Yuu blinked. “You don’t want a beer? What kind of miracle is that?”
Jin laughed. “No miracle. But when Ryo comes home tonight, I want at least be prepared for some sex.” He chuckled. “And when I’m drunk I won’t be able to…stand. If you get what I mean.”
Yuu grinned dirtily. “Well, that’s a good reason.” He leaned back a bit, looking up at the sky too. “Who would have believed that Akanishi Jin could be so much in love with one single person?”
“My word.” Jin smirked a bit. He didn’t even care about sounding cheesy here. People who complained about that were just envious.
“I envy you.” Yuu admitted honestly. “I want to be in love too. Must be great…”
Jin chuckled. “It’s lots of work too. I want to be able to live with him…also when the first feeling of overwhelming love is over.”
“That’s what I envy you for.” Yuu smiled a bit. “Being able to fall in love…and stay in love. That’s something that I really want too.”
“You will find it.” Jin reassured his friend.
“I hope so.”
They stayed quiet for a moment, feeling a bit awkward, then Yuu chuckled. “How do his lips taste?”
“Secret.” Jin grumbled.
Yuu laughed. “I want to taste his lips too…” He grinned dorkily, bending forward a bit and pressing his lips against Jin’s.
Jin rolled his eyes, pushing him away. “Idiot!” he complained, laughing a bit. “His lips are my secret.”
“Yeah…” Yuu complained, pouting slightly. “You just taste like smoke and whisky. Not interesting at all.” He grinned. “I’ll be heading back again… there is this cute blonde I want to talk to.”
“Good luck.” Jin smiled, watching how Yuu left him again. He leaned back against the wall once more, wiping over his lips. Yuu was a dork, really. Such a random idiot. But if he ever kissed Ryo for real, he would… Well, Yuu better shouldn’t do that! Jin smiled a bit, looking up at the sky. It wasn’t pathetic to wish for Ryo to be here too, right? To watch the night sky with him together…
Subaru yawned a bit. “I don’t even understand why Yoko sounded so worked up…He called me around 3 AM to tell me to meet up with you… 3 AM!!”
Jin smiled apologetically. “I think I surprised him with my questions… Sorry for that.”
Subaru leaned back a bit. “Yeah…” he mumbled, lost in his thoughts. “But why is he so worried? What kind of questions did you ask him?”
Jin sighed deeply. “I can’t tell you everything… but it’s about Ryo…”
The older guy’s face frowned in worry, he leaned forward immediately. “What’s with Ryo?” Subaru asked in concern. “Did something happen?”
“Is he alright?”
“Where is he?”
Jin shifted around a bit. This here was even worse than talking to Yoko… Yoko had been holding back a bit, because of his surprise and shock, but Subaru... was different. Jin sighed silently. “It’s something personal, I can’t tell you everything. But I want to help him… Just, to help him, I need to know some answers.”
Subaru frowned. “I don’t understand that at all…”
“It’s a private problem.” Jin explained carefully. “He really needs my help now and I’m not letting go of him any time soon.”
Subaru sighed. “Is it part of the reason why he was so gloomy recently?” he asked.
Jin frowned. “Wait…what!?”
“Well, he was quite gloomy recently.” Subaru repeated, before his eyes widened. He looked at Jin insistently. “This reminds me of some years ago, when he had the same aura… he was almost depressive.”
“Depressive?” Jin asked in surprise.
“Maybe depressive is not the exact word for it.” Subaru admitted. “More like…haunted…” he paused “The first time it happened was when he was still a kid - he had an almost sad aura back then. He wasn’t sleeping well.” he mumbled. “I think it was because of his brothers. But at that time it wasn’t something that really made me worry. You know, he was bothered, but not crushed. But then a few years later, when he was older…” Subaru paused here, a slight shiver running over his spine.
“What was a few years later?” Jin wanted to know. “Did he have nightmares again? Was he feeling broken or crushed?”
Subaru shrugged helplessly. “He never told me about it. We were sleeping in one room back then, when we were on concert tours… and he used to wake up in the middle of the night. He was tensed and almost scared all the time. I tried to help him…” Subaru smiled warily. “But, well, you know him. He didn’t want me to ask any questions. It was the time where he put up this grumpy mask all the time, I guess it was to protect his own broken self. He was pretending to be unfriendly and a tease.” he paused. “But after some time it was suddenly better again. Almost out of a sudden he seemed to be free, letting go of his grumpy behavior completely…and opening up again. Until last year.”
“Eh?” Jin blinked. “Last year?”
Subaru shrugged. “He was so sad out of a sudden. And he had this closed attitude again.” he explained. “We tried to ask him about it, but he wouldn’t answer. All he did was to write this song…”
“This song?” Jin blinked. “You mean ‘monologue’?”
“Yes.”
Jin shivered a bit when he walked home. No matter what he tried to think of or how he tried to lighten up his mood, there was one thought hunting him: During monologue-times Ryo, you were already together with me. What made you so sad back then?
To Ryo aka my love,
I love the night sky,
But without you I feel like I can’t find pleasure in anything I do.
Would you come back to watch the night sky together with me?
I promise you to hold you in my arms…
We can raise our wings and fly together then,
because we love each other.
Yours, always, Jin
******
Note: Hey dear friends and readers! Thanks so much for all your support!! So, I wanted to tell you that my Request Post is open. If you feel like requesting a specific pairing or situation you can do so HERE
Pairing: RyoJin
Rating: PG-13
Genre: romance, friendship, bit angst
Multi-chapter
Disclaimer: I don't own them or anything else JE-related. But the story is mine of course^^
Summary: It happens almost out of a sudden. 'Almost', because Jin should have seen the signs. But too pre-occupied with the problems in their relationship, it slipped his attention. And then Ryo is gone... leaving just a single note. Where he is, is a mystery, as is what drove him to leave. Desperate to save their relationship Jin decides to fight against unknown demons of their hearts. He is searching for the key to understanding Ryo's past... so that he might be able to open the locked door again.
Note: Flashbacks and letters Jin has written are in [italic]
“You know, I have nothing against crowded places.” Jin complained. “But this here makes even me feel claustrophobic.” He rolled his eyes when he saw Yuu curling his lips up into a teasing smirk. “Stop that attitude, idiot.” Jin grumbled. “You are way too drunk to be taken for serious anyway… I’ll go outside for some fresh air.” He shoved his body through the masses of people, glad when he reached the door, leading outside.
He sighed deeply, leaning against the wall. Fresh air! Finally! He liked clubbing and crowded places, but honestly…this here was too much for him. Thoughts like: “What would I do if there was a fire?” normally didn’t cross his mind, but this place made him feel uncomfortable. It was a special party, only VIPs invited and it was actually something that could be cool. Just that the place was way too small.
Though he could have had fun if Ryo had been here too, of course. Together with Ryo even the ugliest place turned into their own comfortable little palace. But Ryo went to Maruyama’s birthday party and couldn’t come along. Jin rolled his eyes at that thought. Man, how pathetic, here he was, going out without his boyfriend for once and already missing him. He, cool and independent Jin. Who would have believed that he was so much into romance? That he actually liked the thought of not being free and independent? He loved it to take Ryo’s hand and claim him as his. He didn’t need the feeling of being free and allowed to have sex with whoever he wanted to, he rather preferred it to have sex with the one person he really wanted. He hadn’t believed that himself at the beginning, that he could become such a type of guy, but with Ryo everything changed.
“You were right.” Yuu coughed when he also trembled outside after while. “This place is scary…” He took a sip from his beer that he had brought outside. “Want some…?” he offered.
“No thanks.” Jin grinned, pulling at his cigarette. He watched the smoke diffusing in the night sky. It was a calm area here… no people outside at all. He enjoyed it to be at such a place, just looking at the night sky and enjoying the fresh breeze, without the noise of cars around him.
“Eh?” Yuu blinked. “You don’t want a beer? What kind of miracle is that?”
Jin laughed. “No miracle. But when Ryo comes home tonight, I want at least be prepared for some sex.” He chuckled. “And when I’m drunk I won’t be able to…stand. If you get what I mean.”
Yuu grinned dirtily. “Well, that’s a good reason.” He leaned back a bit, looking up at the sky too. “Who would have believed that Akanishi Jin could be so much in love with one single person?”
“My word.” Jin smirked a bit. He didn’t even care about sounding cheesy here. People who complained about that were just envious.
“I envy you.” Yuu admitted honestly. “I want to be in love too. Must be great…”
Jin chuckled. “It’s lots of work too. I want to be able to live with him…also when the first feeling of overwhelming love is over.”
“That’s what I envy you for.” Yuu smiled a bit. “Being able to fall in love…and stay in love. That’s something that I really want too.”
“You will find it.” Jin reassured his friend.
“I hope so.”
They stayed quiet for a moment, feeling a bit awkward, then Yuu chuckled. “How do his lips taste?”
“Secret.” Jin grumbled.
Yuu laughed. “I want to taste his lips too…” He grinned dorkily, bending forward a bit and pressing his lips against Jin’s.
Jin rolled his eyes, pushing him away. “Idiot!” he complained, laughing a bit. “His lips are my secret.”
“Yeah…” Yuu complained, pouting slightly. “You just taste like smoke and whisky. Not interesting at all.” He grinned. “I’ll be heading back again… there is this cute blonde I want to talk to.”
“Good luck.” Jin smiled, watching how Yuu left him again. He leaned back against the wall once more, wiping over his lips. Yuu was a dork, really. Such a random idiot. But if he ever kissed Ryo for real, he would… Well, Yuu better shouldn’t do that! Jin smiled a bit, looking up at the sky. It wasn’t pathetic to wish for Ryo to be here too, right? To watch the night sky with him together…
Subaru yawned a bit. “I don’t even understand why Yoko sounded so worked up…He called me around 3 AM to tell me to meet up with you… 3 AM!!”
Jin smiled apologetically. “I think I surprised him with my questions… Sorry for that.”
Subaru leaned back a bit. “Yeah…” he mumbled, lost in his thoughts. “But why is he so worried? What kind of questions did you ask him?”
Jin sighed deeply. “I can’t tell you everything… but it’s about Ryo…”
The older guy’s face frowned in worry, he leaned forward immediately. “What’s with Ryo?” Subaru asked in concern. “Did something happen?”
“Is he alright?”
“Where is he?”
Jin shifted around a bit. This here was even worse than talking to Yoko… Yoko had been holding back a bit, because of his surprise and shock, but Subaru... was different. Jin sighed silently. “It’s something personal, I can’t tell you everything. But I want to help him… Just, to help him, I need to know some answers.”
Subaru frowned. “I don’t understand that at all…”
“It’s a private problem.” Jin explained carefully. “He really needs my help now and I’m not letting go of him any time soon.”
Subaru sighed. “Is it part of the reason why he was so gloomy recently?” he asked.
Jin frowned. “Wait…what!?”
“Well, he was quite gloomy recently.” Subaru repeated, before his eyes widened. He looked at Jin insistently. “This reminds me of some years ago, when he had the same aura… he was almost depressive.”
“Depressive?” Jin asked in surprise.
“Maybe depressive is not the exact word for it.” Subaru admitted. “More like…haunted…” he paused “The first time it happened was when he was still a kid - he had an almost sad aura back then. He wasn’t sleeping well.” he mumbled. “I think it was because of his brothers. But at that time it wasn’t something that really made me worry. You know, he was bothered, but not crushed. But then a few years later, when he was older…” Subaru paused here, a slight shiver running over his spine.
“What was a few years later?” Jin wanted to know. “Did he have nightmares again? Was he feeling broken or crushed?”
Subaru shrugged helplessly. “He never told me about it. We were sleeping in one room back then, when we were on concert tours… and he used to wake up in the middle of the night. He was tensed and almost scared all the time. I tried to help him…” Subaru smiled warily. “But, well, you know him. He didn’t want me to ask any questions. It was the time where he put up this grumpy mask all the time, I guess it was to protect his own broken self. He was pretending to be unfriendly and a tease.” he paused. “But after some time it was suddenly better again. Almost out of a sudden he seemed to be free, letting go of his grumpy behavior completely…and opening up again. Until last year.”
“Eh?” Jin blinked. “Last year?”
Subaru shrugged. “He was so sad out of a sudden. And he had this closed attitude again.” he explained. “We tried to ask him about it, but he wouldn’t answer. All he did was to write this song…”
“This song?” Jin blinked. “You mean ‘monologue’?”
“Yes.”
Jin shivered a bit when he walked home. No matter what he tried to think of or how he tried to lighten up his mood, there was one thought hunting him: During monologue-times Ryo, you were already together with me. What made you so sad back then?
To Ryo aka my love,
I love the night sky,
But without you I feel like I can’t find pleasure in anything I do.
Would you come back to watch the night sky together with me?
I promise you to hold you in my arms…
We can raise our wings and fly together then,
because we love each other.
Yours, always, Jin
******
Note: Hey dear friends and readers! Thanks so much for all your support!! So, I wanted to tell you that my Request Post is open. If you feel like requesting a specific pairing or situation you can do so HERE
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the first part made me smile. it's not that sad but light instead. there's a bit of humour but i completely understood the message you wanted to convey. ryo changes jin so much and he was not even shy about it. it clearly shows how jin loves ryo and how he longed for the younger one even during the times there were nothing wrong in their relationship. i guess jin has always been too scared to ryo. this explains his eagerness to find ryo soon. but i'm impressed that he's taking everything calmly. i'm so proud of him :) he's actually a sweet and caring guy. i would love a cool and independent jin, but a sweet and caring Jin would be so much better!
So when I thought Yoko and Hina would give Jin the best clues from Kanjani8, I was wrong! Subaru for sure knew better or rather understood Ryo better. I remember Subaru saying he and Ryo connects in RL. I just forgot where I read that. I think there something in Ryo and Subaru that we couldn't completely point out since they don't really have the same personally but their inner selves could be somewhat similar. about that, though, we can never really know)
What I love about here is that Subaru gave Jin such and important fact. That Ryo have always had these times when he get so down and closed. Well, Ryo's always closed but people would still notice it when he's normally closed or alarmingly aloof. It makes sense, right? I believe that Ryo being a tease or cold was his defense mechanism. Even though he was scarred, he didn't want anyone else to see it. He would always keep it to himself and just wait when the time comes that he would feel better again. I'm just sad that he appears to be okay with that. He would feel crushed, then okay, then crushed again. It was kind of being repetitive because he wasn't letting anyone butt into his problems. I'm not sure if these problems are something people could help him out with but knowing that others support you and will always be there for you when you talk about your problems and isecurities always help, right?I guess Ryo chose the hard way and it hurt him so much in the end. It's so sad that he was living his life that way. It must be really hard for him.
Another important details of this part is the last words Subaru said. Monologue. Shoot I had to read the lyrics again. Monologue was such a sad and meaningful song. But I honestly don't know if the way I interpreted its meaning is the same as how Ryo did when he wrote it. We'll never know. The words weren't deep but the construction and the phrasing were so powerful that I couldn't be sure if I was getting the message the same way. But here in this story, I'll try to think about the song differently. Since the song is the title, I'm sure it has something to do with the plot, too! Ryo and JIn being together during the time of the song must be something! I can't wait to know how it is connected. Is the song for him?
Then now, the introduction made sense to me.
"The beginning is always a little spark,
the movie screen projects a guy sighing to the sky.
If the near button gets pressed, a starry night...a kiss scene."
I am not really sure but I think this part of the song is connected to the story. The night sky and the kiss scene. I'm having a wide guess that Jin really has something to do with the song. It could be could or bad. But the melancholy of the song doesn't necessarily reflect to the relationship, right? I think it would always boil down to Ryo's doubts and insercurities, or if anyone had ever tried to intervene about him being happy and all.
Basically, though, it's just sad. I can't imagine Ryo taking about these things he has hidded for so long! It know it would be heartbreaking! Now, I can't wait for Jin to find Ryo.
Is he going to find him soon? I'm craving for more! The story even slow paced gets more and more intriguing. One clue for every chapter would always hook the readers! It's amazingly perfect!
Thanks for this update, dear! *huggggggggggggs*
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I was so happy when I saw it in my inbox <3
THAAAAAAAAAAAAAANKS!!! *HUGGLES*
I'm so glad you liked the first part! It was a bit lighter than the rest of the chapter. Well, Yuu is a dork and Jin is lovey-dovey, right? ^______^
I think Jin realizes that he needs to be calm to find Ryo. There is no use if he freaks out and looses it - he has to stay focused. When he finds Ryo, he can let go of his tensed emotions then.
Ohhhh, if I'm not completely wrong, it was a Behind-the-scenes interview (I think it was for their drama specials 2006) Subaru said that he and Ryo are really similar - hence get along really well. Because Ryo tends to get annoyed at the same things like Subaru. He tends to doze off occasionally, just like Subaru etc.
I think these two share something together. They might not be similar at all - but deep inside they really resemble each other. That's why for me Subaru is the one who might understand Ryo the best.
You know, for me 'monologue' was wonderful, it's one of my favourite songs, but it was also so sad... Ryo always puts a lot into his lyrics, so for me 'monologue' was really impressive because of that.
I try to catch the mood of the song here, not necessarily the content. ^^
Thanks so much for your amazing comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm soooooooooooooooooooooo happy you like this story!!!!!!!! *HUUUUUUUUUUUUGS*
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Love Jin's thoughts and his convo with Yuu <3<3
Can't wait what else will Jin find out!
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I'm so glad you liked this update!! *huggles*
Thanks so much for reading!! <3 <3 <3 <3
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Yay, Baru is always special, right? :DDDDD
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the first memory Jin has here is so sweet. He really is the free and indipendent type at all, but with Ryo everything changes. He changes from the cool and tough guy into a lovey-dove, romantic one. That's somehow really cute, and I think it's only Ryo with whom he can be in this way. It's a special bond they have and I think it's nothing you can share with everyone.
That shows how much Jin loves the other one. But even though he loves Ryo to death, he always oversaw Ryo's real feelings. But I think Ryo doesn't have a problem with Jin, but with something which happened right before they got together. Like something bothered him long before and also during their relationship.
Somehow I think that Ryo thinks if he is worth to be together with Jin. Does he deserve someone like Jin, who almost does everything for Ryo?
And I don't want to blame Jin for not seeing Ryo's problems, because I think Ryo tried everything to hide the feelings and things which happened from Jin. He didn't want the other one to see how he feels and something is off. Maybe because he knows how much he means to Jin, and he doesn't want to be a burden for him. Maybe he fears that Jin would leave him when he knows about the problems? I don't know, it's just a thought I had.
Subaru gives Jin the next important input. Even though Ryo doesn't talk about what bothers him, his action and his behavior shows it. I feel so sad for Ryo, the point where he isn't able to sleep at nights. Nights are tricky, right?! You don't have anything to dostract yourself, and there you have to handle your thoughts on your own. And they keep running and running, especially if you are a type like Ryo is. I love the way Subaru explains Jin how he reads Ryo. Every time Ryo is fine he smiles and laughs. But if something is bothering him, he doesn't talk about it, but just hide it behind a farce. Like he said: Ryo got snappy and got his "poison tongue". He did it, because he felt uneasy and something happened to him. And when this was over, Ryo was like a totally different person.
Subaru can see if someone is close to a depression, right? Because he on his own knows what it means.
I think Subaru wanted to care about Ryo, like all the others, but Ryo is Ryo, and if he doesn't want any help, he doesn't let anyone help him *sighs*
So he had a problem when he was already together with Jin? That must be a shock for Jin. I think Jin learns a lot during this time, because everyone gives him a clue and with every story he gets to know he realizes what he has to do: he must read Ryo like a book. It's not enough to listen to his words, because Ryo will always say that everything is alright, but what is really going on, is written in his face and his behavior. I think Jin will care about it.
Don't be afraid Jin, even with one beer you can...stand...*lol* So sweet.At least one sweet and cheeful point here. ^^
Normally I don't care much about the style thing, or at least I don't mention it in a comment, but I love the bridge between the scene with Yuu and Jin and Jin's letter in the end.
He enjoyed it to be at such a place, just looking at the night sky and enjoying the fresh breeze, without the noise of cars around him. and Would you come back to watch the night sky together with me?
Somehow the last words Jin wrties in the end of every chapter is a nice summary of his experiences during the meeting with Ryo's friends. It's like Jin writes down everything he "learns" about the other one. Ryo is a bit like a stduy subject for Jin. *laughs* He still needs to find the formula to break Ryo's walls down and get to his heart completely. (Even though I know Ryo loves Jin, but he isn't able to show it, because there are some old things bothering him. That's the way I see him here, and that's the reason I see behind Ryo's disappearing.)
I really hope Jin finds the other one soon, and I think they have a lot to talk about now. And I really hope Ryo is able to open up and let Jin care about him. We know stubborn little Ryo. But on the other side I think Ryo loves Jin to death, so he will let him in. And Jin is cool headed enough to find a way.
Sorry for the long comment. The story chains me. I want more!! Thanks for sharing *hugs*
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THANKS SO MUCH for this amazing comment!!
Yes, with Ryo Jin changed. Jin is still the independent and cool type of guy. He was used to have random encounters and not be in a steady relationship - but with Ryo it changed. I think Jin is surprised about that himself. He had never expected something like this to happen.
That's one of the reasons Ryo is so important to him. He changed for him after all - it's not only about love, but also about friendship and belonging to each other.
Jin knows that Ryo had to be really desperate to run away from him. The reasons are...well... Jin is still searching for them, but he gets a step closer with every day. And he knows that he needs to stay calm and not freak out - it wouldn't help, neither him nor Ryo.
I'm so glad you liked the scene at the beginning. It's a light moment, that's true. And you are right, I connected the beginning and the end. I try to do that with every chapter ^^
Thanks so much for reading, dear!!
I'm sooooooooooooooooo glad you are enjoying this story!! *HUGGGGGLES*
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Thanks :D
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Maybe it was both? Ryo is a closed type of person, he for sure can hide his feelings... And Jin...well...
Thanks so much for reading!!!!! ^____^
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i love this chapter, because we get to learn a little more about Jin and how he feels. We get to witness him in an unguarded moment with a friend, and i like that alot. I like it too because it mirrors the beginning when Jin wanted to be with Yuu and did not tell Ryo about it. Here he is with Yuu at a party and all he wants to do is be with Ryo.
I think we learn a couple of things from Subaru--first that Ryo struggled on and off a long time, second that Ryo had these problems while he was with Jin, and third--even though Subaru and Ryo were close--he really has no idea what was going on with Ryo. That should give Jin a big clue right there. If Kanjani is so close togther, if Yoko is calling Subaru at 3AM to have him talk to Jin, if they are all so close, and Ryo could not confide completely in them--this is a big mountain Jin has to climb. Because Ryo kept whatever it is from his friends, family, and his lover.
in the first chapter Ryo says (in the letter) that he needs a break from himself. And I think that writing the song was one of the only ways he could release the tension--telling the world that something was wrong, but telling nobody in his life at the same time. Thanks so much for writing this. I will only know if i am right at the end. But I can wait.
Hugs, hearts, and solving the puzzles. :D:D:D<3<3<3
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I like Subaru - he is so cool to write. Well, I didn't write him as the main-character much till now, but he is amazing as a supportive character. I should write him more... <3
I LOVE it how you analyzed Subaru and why he couldn't ask Ryo about his problems. I think you really nailed it here. Ryo's problem might be a really really deep one...
I'm so amazed that you made the connection to the first chapter!!!! Honestly, I'm so happy about that <3
Thanks so much for your gorgeous comment!!
And for catching up of course!! *HUGGGGGLES*
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Ryo where are you!!!?
Love it, thanks a lot for sharing^_^
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But I'm really happy that you read this story <3