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Azure Chapter 16
Pairing: TakkiRyo, Pin, Sakumoto, Kimura/OC
Multi-chapter
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, angst, romance, fantasy
Disclaimer: I don't own them or anything else JE-related, but the story is mine of course^^
Summary: It's a dark night when Yamapi meets him: Jin, a mysterious guy lying on the street, unconscious. But who is this guy he carries home? What is he? What's the secret behind his being? After one night he is gone...and Yamapi is left alone with all his questions. Born as a Hunter, Pi shouldn't question his life... but he can't help it. He has always been different... He takes the risk and leaves for a journey which might not have an end.
Meanwhile Jin struggles for his own destiny... together with his brother Ryo and his friend Jun. But how far are they allowed to go? Trying to pass the borders of their existence they try to find the truth... and their fate.
Can you decide on your own destiny?
Note: Thoughts are in italic letters
Things Ryo or others said once and past dialogues are set in [ ]
He betrayed me…
Not only me but also my family…
Everything we are…
Everything we stand for…
Everything we swore to…
He is not one of us…
But he is my brother…
[“Aniki? I’m afraid of thunderstorm…can I sleep in your bed?”
“You can always sleep in my bed Ryo-chan.”]
This had been once, now we aren’t brothers anymore.
Kill everything that’s not obeying to our word…
[“Hey Aniki. I painted a picture for you. It’s from the sea… You like the sea, don’t you?”]
[“Why do you hunt, Jun? We don’t need their death to survive…”
“Stop questioning everything we are!”]
[“Did you go hunting?”
“No, Jin! Thanks to your adorable little brother…”]
Why are you doing that to us?
Why are you asking questions no one should ask?
Why can’t you accept our rules and the foundation of our being?
[“Jin, my dear, promise me one thing… when the time comes… fight it!”]
[“No matter what happens, you’ll always have each other. Even if you loose everything… your brother will always be at your side.”]
[“I love you, Aniki.”]
[“Shouldn't you know the persons you are painting, Ryo? Doesn't it worry you that you paint something you don't even know?”
“Why should I know what I draw? It is here anyway. Maybe they are people that are connected to me though I don't know them. Or they are a spark inside me.”]
You! With these thoughts and words no one can understand and follow! Why are you even here within us? You shouldn’t have been born!
“Aniki? Aniki?”
For a moment Jin paused in his wrath and in his spinning thoughts. This was his brother’s voice… but where did it come from? He had lost his conscience minutes ago… But his voice was in his head… directly in his head. Jin closed his eyes, not wanting to hear it. His fingers cramped around the whip, wanting to hold on to it.
“Will you kill me now? Why don’t you stop fighting it? Kill me and get over with it. Erase the pain. I don’t want to live with this pain anymore… I’ve had it inside me all the time. Is it her pain? The Empress’ pain from so many years ago? Why do I have to carry it with me? Why won’t it die? MAKE IT DIE! Make me die… There is no hope for me. Kill me… and live a better and calmer life without me.”
Jin wasn’t sure how or why, but for a moment he was able to look through his brother’s eyes. Why? How did that work? He could see it all… Himself through Ryo’s eyes. This Human he was in love with. Jun. And other things…dreams he was having which were rather like visions. His fears, his desperation.
“Kill me, please.”
Everything. Like pieces of a puzzle slowly becoming a whole.
“I don’t want to live with this pain anymore. Why won’t it die? MAKE IT DIE! Make me die… There is no hope for me.”
For a moment it went blank in front of Jin and then he could see it clearly. The truth in front of him. It had erased all the wrath and darkness inside him, the things that were there since generation.
“Kill me, Jin! Do it now!! DO IT!!!!! Make the pain go away!”
Ryo’s fingers weren’t clenching to the chain anymore, they weren’t moving at all. His whole body was motionless, his eyes closed. And right in this moment Jin felt panic spreading through his body. What did he do here? WHAT DID HE DO!? Did he just… kill him? Was his brother still alive? He felt almost paralyzed by the fear that was spreading through him now. Did I kill him, mother? Though I promised you to look after him…
Jin stared at the picture in front of him, not able to do anything, until the door flew open and a very panicking Jun almost dropped down the chairs to the basement.
“JIN! Oh my god. Stop it!” he grabbed Jin’s hand to hold him back, his breath going heavier, apparently he had been running like never before in his life, just to reach them in time. “You don’t want to kill your brother, don’t you? Who cares if he is with a damn human? You won’t kill him for that. You can’t, can you?”
Jin felt his body shivering, his fingers cramping. “Jun…” he pressed out. “What have I done? Why was I capable of doing such a thing?”
How dark was this darkness inside me?
Did it kill him?
“Okay, let’s not panic now.” Jun breathed out, trying to sound as calm as possible though he sounded more like a captain of a drowning ship. He turned around. “Sho? Are you here?”
“I’m here.” Sho coughed when he reached the door. He wasn’t a Human, but still… keeping up with the pace of a Vampire was almost impossible for him. And Jun had been damn fast. Actually it had been the first time for Sho to ask for an appointment with Jun. He wanted to tell him what he needed to say… also including his decision. But he hadn’t even started, when Jun’s eyes had suddenly widened in shock. Apparently he had felt something inside him, a warning, a cry for help. With that he had rushed away, just briskly apologizing to Sho for leaving out of a sudden.
And Sho couldn’t do anything else but follow him. As always.
“I need you, Sho.” Jun told him bluntly, not caring right now if he was actually showing too much of a weak side to someone else.
Sho’s heart made a slight jump at that. Jun had just called him by his name. It was the first time that he said Sho. Simply Sho. Maybe it was just a little thing, but in this moment it felt like the world for Sho. His heart made a joyful jump but just as long until Jun pointed at Ryo.
“Please.” Jun’s voice broke a bit. “You are a doctor, aren’t you? Can you save him?
******
Note: Hey dear friends and readers! Thanks so much for all your support!! So, I wanted to tell you that my Request Post is open. If you feel like requesting a specific pairing or situation you can do so Here
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Okay I am sort of cheating a little bit because I just read the next chapter. But I will not reveal things in this comment in case people are reading this from Chapter 1. Because I believe people will be reading this fic for a long time. :D
The way you portrayed the fight in Jin's mind is amazing. We see Jin fighting and all the thoughts that swirl around in his mind. So that even while he is committing this horrible act, we feel compassion for Jin and Ryo. And we see what Jin sees through Ryo, which required some delicate maneuvering I think.
To me the most important point in this chapter is when Jin actually stops before Jun gets there. He is able to stop himself when he is confused by seeing things from his brothers perspective, and that is where the hope of redemption and forgiveness can be found. That moment when Jin panics and realizes what he has done is one of the most powerful moments in the whole fic.
And Ryo, even when he is begging for death. He is not yelling at Jin or fighting against him. Even inside his mind at these moments he is only asking for release. That part made me cry.
The Sho and Jun interaction was wonderful. Jun was able to reach out to Sho for help. Whatever is in store for these two at the end, they have been honest with each other and at least Jun has learned to rely on someone else, accept help from someone else, and that is a huge change for him. i love these two alot and they are the primary reason why I am requesting Sakumoto from you at the auction.:D
I think the reason that I love Azure so much, besides the fact that it is brilliantly written, is because even it's darkest moments there is hope. And I have hope, even with Ryo near death I have hope. Maybe Sho was born for just this moment to save him. Anyway you have made me care about these characters, and for that i am truly thankful.
Hugs, hearts, and patience and restraint, and the ability to change ones mind. :D :D :D <3<3<3
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THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR AMAZING COMMENT!!
I was so happy when I read it <3
I already missed you and your encouraging comments <3
I will answer this properly later!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *HUGGLES*
Obviously...here I am XD
I'm honestly so happy that you like this story!! It wasn't an easy one to write, the happier I am that you like it <3
Jin's inner fight was really important to me, because it showed his dark thoughts as a monster, but also his more human thoughts and scenes with Ryo that are swiriling around in his mind now and got mixed up with his dark and light feelings.
The point is about how you look at the things that happened... That was a huge struggle for Jin.
I'M SO GLAD YOU SAID THIS: To me the most important point in this chapter is when Jin actually stops before Jun gets there.
This was actually the most important point here!! He stopped... on his own. Jun came in time and rescued them, but actually Jin stopped his actions by himself.
I'm happy you like Sakumoto. Sho is not a weak character, he is just in love.
*g* Now I understand XD I already wondered why you requested Sakumoto. (I love your request by the way XD)
Thanks so much for reading, dear. And for your amazing and encouraging comment!!! *HUGGLES*
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How much of himself will he be able to control?
I hope that Jun and Sho got there in time and there is not irreparable damage to Ryo.
Was it Ryo pleading to die or the soul inside Jin?
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Yes, Jin was totally caught in his wrath.
How much did happen to them?
You asked an interesting question!!!! I promise I will reveal whose voice it was.
Thanks so much for reading!! <3
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poor Sho... I'm sure he felt elated, but at the same time, probably felt more used... then again, I'm sure he's happy that he's needed at such point in time.
3 more chapters! *sob* I LOOOOOOOOOVE this series!
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Yes, Ryo's pain for sure is huge. He really suffered here. And you mentioned such an important point about his thoughts!! I promise I will explain this too ^_^
For Sho it's getting more and more confusing, right? Here, he is suddenly needed. This will for sure make him feel a bit more important.
Thanks so much for reading!! I'm soooooooooooo glad you like this story <3
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as for ryo, he's really pitiful here. although he had seen it coming but i think he had hoped for something less painful or maybe he hoped that jin would understand or he could do something about it. but then again, the words which are uspposed to be ryo's thoughts kinda disturbed me here. it seems like he knew something. why does he know about the empress' pain? why had he been hurting and carrying for such a long time? it's something important, i assume. i'm glad that jin's able to see and realize these things through his eyes. i'm pretty sure he understands ryo's words here more than i do. i just pity ryo for suffering this much. it's so sad that he even thinks of dying now to erasd the pain and for his brother to live without him. it's so sad! :(
sho's taken aback with jun's request. is ryo's condition that severe? i hope he survives! please. i'm sure jin would go crazy if his brother dies especially because of him. i hope pi and takuya arrives soon, too. they might be able to do something. okay, since ryo's very ill now. i was thinking that jin might do something to save his brother. just that... please jin, don't do that. i hope my guesses aren't right. that'd be heartbreaking.
thanks for this wonderful chapter! i'm sad that only 3 chapters are left. this is one of your best works! i love it so much! you always nail these kinds of stories! *huuuuuugs*
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When I saw it, I was so happy and thankful! I'm really so thankful that you like this story and got pulled into it so much!!
Jin is in a difficult situation, right? He is fighting it for sure - I think it got clear when reading his thoughts. But the other side was really strong too. He wasn't able to stop himself from hurting Ryo. That's their curse after all.
And you are right, he not only snapped because of Ryo dating a Human but also because of Ryo being danger... It was too much for Jin to hold back.
Though that's not really an excuse of course, it's only an explanation.
Jin definitely has to learn to live with his guilt now, because no matter if Ryo survives or not, Jin definitely is carrying a burden now.
You are right, Ryo knew that it was dangerous to date Takki, but then... he fell in love. Can we blame him for that? He for sure had hoped that the bond between him and Jin would be strong enough.
But now Jin at least looked through Ryo's eyes...
You mentioned such an important point!! The Empress' pain... There are things Ryo know, you are right. But what things and why and how does he know them? I'll reveal all that soon ^^
Yes, Sho is shocked!1 and you totally got it! He is shocked because Ryo's condition is really severe...
We'll see what happens!!
Thanks so much for your wonderful comment!! *majorhug*
I hope you are alright, by the way!!!!!! *HUGGLES*
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-pause-
Ehhh~ Am I in this fic 2 *looksurrounding* Ahhh~ I'm interrupting here. Gomen..gomen..*bow* This really move my emotion hahaha ^o^/
Awesome chap n thank U 4 updated my friend =)
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I know, our poor Ryo-chan... he really suffers here.
Thanks so much for reading, dear!!
I'm so glad you like this story!!!!
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Poor Sho here, because he thinks that Jun talks about staying at his place, but it was only because he needed him for Ryo...
Oh, my poor little Ryo-chan...he is at the point where he wants to die...Noooo....Jin doesn't want it, he loves you, it's his destiny, but he fights it...
Thanks sooo much for the update, I totally love it *hugs*
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Yes, at least Jun appeared to stop Jin. He had the right feeling here... Let's see if he came in time.
And Sho finally felt needed. Jun relied on him and I think this will give Sho some courage.
Thanks so much for your comment!! *huggles*
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Go and safe him pi
as always i love your fic. Please write more!
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Thanks so much for reading, dear!! *huggles*