Bittersweet Symphony Chapter 5

[lilly0]

Title: Bittersweet Symphony: Chapter 4: Deception
Pairing: Main: RyoJin, Akame, Pikame, TomaPi, Uchi/Miyao, one-sided RyoDa
Multi-Chapter
Rating:  PG-15
Genre: romance, angst, friendship
Disclaimer: I don't own them or anything else JE-related, but the story is mine of course^^
Summary: Yamapi slowly learns that some things can happen... even to him. But how to deal with the consequences? 
Nakamaru gets to know who the guy is Ueda fell for... and he has an important advice for him.
Ryo tries to stop the casual and flirty behaviour he has around Jin, while Jin wonders what's actually going on with his friend...

Yamapi stretched a bit as he walked through the night, back to Toma’s apartment. The other had written him a message, telling him that he had a surprise for him at home. Yamapi was torn between feeling reluctant that he had to leave the nice gathering in Ryo’s apartment and feeling curious and happy that he would see Toma tonight… and his surprise.

Out of the corner of his eyes he could see a miserable figure sitting on a park bench… and gasped. KAME? One part of his mind simply wanted him to pass the scene, pretending he hadn’t seen anything. Kame was at fault that Ryo was feeling so miserable after all… Well, at least that was what Yamapi tried to think. It was unfair of course but he wanted to blame someone, though he knew it wasn’t that simple to talk about wrong and right in this matter. Yamapi breathed out in annoyance. Why couldn’t he just ignore Kame’s miserable figure, hovering on a park bench, and pass him? But the moment he asked this question to himself, he already knew it was impossible.

“Hey, Kamenashi-kun?” Yamapi looked at Kame, softly touching his shoulder.

“Go away!” Kame huffed, not in the mood to be nice or friendly.

Yamapi glared at the other. He had always hated Kame’s guts and his attitude. He wondered why Jin even needed to think about Kame’s feelings or wanted to treat that subject so sensitive. Maybe he should simply leave Kame alone and go to Toma…. who was waiting for him. But then… Kame looked really miserable, his eyes a bit red from crying. “I’m not going anywhere.” Yamapi answered sounding a bit annoyed, but there was also a caring tune in his voice. “You look horrible.”

Kame showed him an angry expression. “I really don’t get it why everyone always says you are so nice…” he grumbled. “You aren’t nice at all.”

Again Yamapi wondered why he was even bothering himself with Kame, they had never gotten along well… today was not an exception. “Sorry for caring…” Yamapi glared.

Kame flinched slightly at that, realising that Yamapi could have simply left him sitting here, but apparently he had decided to accompany him despite his unfriendly behaviour. “No…you are right” he mumbled.

Yamapi sighed, smiling a bit. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“Sulking and dwelling in lovesickness.” Kame answered without thinking much.

Yamapi rolled his eyes a bit, then he grabbed Kame’s arm and pulled him up. “I’ll take you home!” he told the other firmly. His nerves were tensing up almost painfully and his stomach jumped lightly… out of annoyance of course! Not because of Kame’s intense eyes and his beautiful lips… Yamapi sighed a bit wondering why he was always so annoyed and nervous and impatient when it was about Kame.

Kame pulled at his arm when Yamapi pushed him along, but he wasn’t really able to fight him. Yamapi was strong… or better: The training for his movie had made him strong! And in the end he was actually feeling relieved when they had reached his apartment. It was warm here and comfortable, better than sitting on a park bench in a cold night. He rolled his eyes a bit, realising that he had to be at least a bit polite. “Wanna come in?” he mumbled.

Yamapi shifted a bit, not sure how to answer. Was it too impolite to say “no” now? He sighed, actually not wanting to come in at all… Wasn’t Toma waiting for him? “Thanks” he forced a smile on his lips, stepping into Kame’s apartment. Five minutes later Kame placed some tea in front of Yamapi… and, here Yamapi couldn’t help a grin, a huge bottle of vodka. He smiled a bit towards Kame. The other blinked in surprise at that, blushing lightly, before he smiled back.

And then there it was… Kame wasn't sure when or how or why... But he he took a sip from his vodka… his fifth glass by the way… and looked at Yamapi thoroughly…He was really good-looking, wasn't he? And he had such immense muscles. And such a beautiful smile (when he smiled) He took a deep breath, giggling lightly, before he bent forward a bit, kissing a really surprised Yamapi. Yamapi struggled for a moment, thoughts about Toma and Jin crossing his mind, before he suddenly found himself hugging the other tight, kissing him back fiercely.

Actually Yamapi had never dreamed or thought that this would happen to him… Never… He was always honest, he hated people who betrayed their friends and lovers and he had never understood people who cheated on their partners. If you were together with one person, why would you need another? Cheating was the worst ever! Of course he knew that it wasn’t always that simple but still...

That was the reason why it was bitter for Yamapi… really unbelievably bitter. And secretly he wondered how he should ever tell this to Ryo or Jin… or Takki. Not to talk about Toma. Oh my god… TOMA! It was simply unforgivable, especially now since it was about himself. Because slowly Yamapi realised that it was not so much about forgiving someone else… it was about forgiving yourself.

And then… out of all guys… KAME? The one person he couldn’t stand at all! It sounded like a joke…. And afterwards when Yamapi was sober again, the drunkenness making place for a headache and vomiting-aftermath, Yamapi knew: It was not about need or want, it had simply been a scent of vodka and tears and lemon-tea and Kame’s pretty eyes that made him go dizzy when he bent forward to kiss the other. Kame’s lips on his. Kame’s tongue in his mouth. Kame’s hair tickling his ear. Kame’s tears on his lips. Kame’s lemon-vodka taste in his mouth. Kame’s hands on his stomach. Kame’s fingers on his abs. Kame’s knee on his crotch. Kame’s hands opening his pants, his hand in Yamapi’s trousers….

That was basically it. Before Kame had to get up, the alcohol too much for him, the sickness overwhelming him, so that he couldn’t help but spent the next two hours on his toilet.

Okay…in the end it was just a kiss, with a bit fumbling…right? Yamapi bit on his lips nervously, the problem was… he already knew it: How could he say that it was just a kiss between him and Kame… because he was well-aware of the fact that if Kame hadn’t gotten sick, Yamapi wouldn’t have stopped him. How could he not feel guilty like this?

 

******

Toma watched the clock ticking on the wall, sighing a bit when he saw how the noodles in the pan slowly got too soft, while the pasta sauce got cold. Not only slightly, rather a lot, he wondered: Where was Yamapi?

With that he got up a bit, angling for his phone to finally dial Yamapi's number to check on him. Maybe something did happen? But there was nothing... apparently Yamapi had switched his phone off... or had no battery any more. Toma hoped that it would be the second one.

His heart made a joyful jump when his phone rang, but after a look on the display he sighed. “Hey Shun.” He tried to sound as polite and cheerful as possible.

 

 

******

„HEY!“ Nakamaru snipped with his fingers in front of Ueda’s face. „Are you even listening to me?“

Ueda blinked in surprise, his attention shifting back to Nakamaru who was having dinner with him right now. “Sorry…” he mumbled.

Nakamaru turned around a bit, looking into the same direction as Ueda did previously and shook his head a bit. “Why are you always looking at the door?”

“Oh, did I watch the door?” Ueda curled his pretty nose, trying to look as innocent as possible… and failed badly.

Nakamaru just looked at him unusually firm and sighed. “Do I bore you that much?”

“Of course not!” Ueda almost sounded offended.

“Do you have another appointment?”

Ueda sighed deeply, shaking his head forcefully so that his hair was flying around like madly, lying down in a total mess when he had finally stopped shaking his head.

Nakamaru couldn’t help a grin. “Your hairstyle is really unique…” he paused, smirking teasingly. “…Hime!”

Ueda glared at that, throwing one of his champignons in Nakamaru’s direction. He grinned when the small vegetable hit Nakamaru’s forehead, slowly slipping down over Nakamaru’s cheek and leaving an onion-sauce trace there.

“Ewwww….” Nakamaru made. „Thanks“ He laughed a bit before he got earnest again. “So… will you tell me now what’s bothering now?”

Ueda sighed deeply, biting his lips nervously. His stubborn self actually wanted to tell Nakamaru to not butt into his business and that everything was alright, but another part of his mind wanted to talk about… IT. “You know…Maru…“

„Yes?“

Ueda took a deep breath. „Do you know if Nishikido-kun will drop by today?”

Nakamaru looked at the other in surprise, at the beginning thinking that the other had simply changed the topic and started to talk about something totally unimportant. Just slowly he started to make the connection between Ueda’s question and his strange behaviour…and the talk they had the other day. Wasn’t this club actually one of Nishikido’s favourite bars? He and Yamapi often came here to eat some lunch or dinner… Nishikido… “I thought you don’t like Nishikido-kun?” Nakamaru asked silently.

Ueda shrugged helplessly. “I never said that.”

“But you are always running away or going into another direction when you see him somewhere.” Nakamaru mused, not understanding Ueda’s behaviour at all.

“Don’t you get it?” Ueda hissed. „That’s what you call self-protection. Out of all guys – it’s me! Ryo will think I’m insane. He doesn’t even look at me, I guess he doesn’t even know who I am… That’s even worse than disliking someone! He doesn’t see me. How on earth should I approach someone whom I mean nothing to?”

Nakamaru gulped at this sudden outburst of his friend, then he smiled softly. “Sorry, I was just confused.” He paused. „But I’m sure that your situation is not that miserable.“ When he saw that Ueda wanted to interrupt him fiercely, he put his hand on the other arm. “Please… just listen to me for a moment. Okay?”

Ueda sighed, nodding his head. It was difficult to go against Nakamaru’s calm and reasonable attitude.

“Nishikido-kun doesn’t see you because you never made yourself visible. Just think about Junno! He didn’t even care when Nishikido or Yokoyama were annoyed, he simply talked to them… and now he even meets Yokoyama occasionally and Nishikido jokes around with him. What you need is a bit more confidence. You are so confident when it’s about other things, why not here?”

Ueda sighed a bit, Nakamaru’s words slowly searching their way to his mind. “I get what you mean. But…he thinks I’m a crybaby and totally useless.”

“Yeah…” Nakamaru snorted at that, sighing a bit. „That’s because the last time he talked to you was around 5 years ago when you actually were a crybaby and quite weak. Now you are different. You have to show him who you are now and not make him belief you are still what you were before.”

Ueda rolled his eyes a bit. “I never thought you would be that bothersome.” Then he smiled thankfully. “Bothersome and helpful.”

Nakamaru grinned. “Well, that’s why I have a sweet lover at home and you haven’t”

Ueda stuck out his tongue playfully, but couldn’t help a sympathetic smile. “You are totally boasting. Any chance you will tell me who this mysterious lover is?” He sighed as Nakamaru shook his head before a sudden thought crossed his mind. “I just wonder were Nishikido-kun is? I haven’t seen him in days…“

“Oh…” Nakamaru blinked in surprise. „You don’t know it?“

“Know what?“ Ueda’s voice sounded unusually sharp.

Nakamaru looked at him piercingly. “Just promise me you won’t overreact now and fall into a nerve-wracking crisis.”

“Are you kidding me?” Ueda mumbled in annoyance.

“Just promise it!”

“Alright, I promise.” the pretty boy sighed a bit.

“Well…” Nakamaru smiled weakly. “I met Takki yesterday in the agency and he told me that Ryo was in hospital. Because of overwork or something like that. He has to rest a bit… till weekend.”

„WHAT!?“ Ueda blurt out, his face now carrying deep furrows between his eyebrows, giving him a concerned and bothered look.

“Don’t forget your promise!” Nakamaru reminded him.

Ueda glared at him, before his face got a worried expression. “Sounds bad…”

 

******

Jin playfully smacked Ryo’s butt, forcing the other to make some space on the sofa, before he dropped down on it, his head falling back lightly as he tried to relax a bit.

“Bad day?” Ryo asked, feeling concerned.

„Not really“ Jin smiled a bit. “Just full of work.” He grabbed one of the bottles of beer, looking around for a bottle opener, and since there was none, he simply opened the bottle by using the edge of the table. Ryo watched him secretly, thinking that Jin was like out of a cool movie, his arms so strong, his body so manly, thick hair… Ryo had to hit himself mentally to not fall into some kind of fanboying here, so he simply turned his head away, cuddling against one of the pillows.

Jin glared a bit at the dog that was lying somewhere on the other sofa right now, grunting and snoring there, then he shifted his attention back to Ryo. “Are you tired?” he asked softly, his hand caressing Ryo’s legs, a worried expression on his face.

“I’m okay…” Ryo mumbled.

“Yeah…” Jin grinned a bit. “If I would get 100 yen each time you say you are okay, I would be really rich right now.”

Ryo glared at him. “You are rich!” he grumbled.

“I would be even richer.” Jin smiled.

Ryo stuck out his tongue, earning him another playful smack from Jin. He grinned a bit, enjoying Jin’s attention and his soft teasing. Actually…enjoying it too much. Ryo frowned suddenly. Damn! What was he doing here? Being all casual and flirty around Jin… that was no good.

Jin watched him properly, his hand still lying on Ryo’s leg, he hadn’t missed the troubled expression that suddenly appeared on Ryo’s face. He knitted his eyebrows, scanning the other properly. What the heck was going on? First his break-down, then this strange, ugly dog… and now Ryo’s closed behaviour. Jin knew that he wasn’t the sweetest guy on earth and that others thought of him as being rough and careless. Statements that made Ryo and Pi always really mad, because actually Jin was really thoughtful and caring. So also now… Ryo’s weird behaviour really made him worry a lot… Maybe, Jin thought, maybe it was because Ryo had just been sick… maybe he was just feeling a bit weak…